Tuesday, July 3, 2007

PCs and the Office Management

A very senior colleague recently announced proudly during a meeting that in his house every member has his/her own PC …not only that they have few PCs extra to provide to the guests or servants too. I was amazed. He looks like a very simple person –known for his wit and repartee but never for his extravagant lifestyle. Then, he clarified that PC here stands not for Personal Computer but for Personal Cats. He has a total of 9 pet cats and the group being an assortment of male and females in future also they will never fall short in number of PCs in their home.

You may find it amusing but these days my office is also contemplating seriously for getting some PCs- personal CATs . In our Disaster Management Committee meetings a long pending topic is of –menace created by Rats in the office. Yes, the building where my office is situated is an old one- in fact a very old heritage building- despite all modernization of the interiors , there are enough ways for the rats to enter and damage the properties. An authoritative official source in my office informs that rats love mouse- now, don’t tell me that’s basic affinity to their own clan for I am talking about computer mouse . In my office rats love to cut the mouse wires. Server, PBX and other important systems are other favorite targets . So typically one monday morning we will find that intranet is off or PBX is non-functional for rats had some weekend feast on the wires. Administration tried everything from rat traps to poison but none of these provide permanent relief from the rat –menace . They will invariably turn up again after a while and claim their right on our office property. Generations of their tribe have flourished eating our glorious audit reports and files and they have no intention of depriving their little ones from this cherished practice – from continuing this old tradition. (At times I wonder if these mice are the only creatures putting our reports to some use.)
So during one such discussion we though of all hi-fi ways of dealing with rats – someone suggested vibrating music (some special frequency which only rats can catch) others thought of rat-pads, but for some or the other reason all of these were rejected. Then my boss (owner of a PC himself) gave the wise suggestion of having some cats in the office and let the nature’s law manage the rest. Well, coming from boss the decision was naturally welcomed but then can you imagine a group of government officials agreeing to something simple and common- sensical solution instantly. So very politely few doubts were raised viz. who will feed the cats, who will be responsible for them, will it not start a Cat-menace in office ? What about their cleanliness and hygiene? Since the questions were raised earnestly, someone was asked to “explore the feasibility” of the idea and it was taken into the minutes of the meeting and the discussion ended at that note .
The other morning, I and my colleague (in-charge of office administration) on our way to office , were discussing this new meaning of PCs and their potential role in office management. He suggested that each section in office should be given a PC(personal cat) and the rat-jurisdiction of the cat should be defined within that section only . At this point another colleague from a sister office chipped in saying that what if one sectional cat encroach on another cats area? What if there are consequent cat-fights ? Well, cats unlike office employees will not be governed by any conduct rules nor disciplinary action can be initiated against them. He jokingly asked if our office is going to make a set of rules for these cats too. Unfettered by these remarks, in true bureaucratic manner two of us replied in chorus that the solution is simple -- We will transfer the guilty cat to Andamans Branch office or Farakka RAO on a punishment posting . Howzzzat !
Though this was said in lighter spirit don’t get surprised if one day you actually find such a proposal come true . In government and in fiction- anything is possible .





FEEDBACK: I just got some feedback on this post from a friend . Since it has come in an email let me post it here -

" well there is a more radical solution...a PS* for each section..because in respect of accesibility to the rats PS scores over PC and PS management is relatively easier..in fact they dont need any management at all.they may also help in eliminating some bigger rats(within each section) who are eating into the Audit institutuion itself (mouse to choti si pyari se cheez hai).......yeh bhi kaam nahi kiya to PP** ko bulate hain aur kehte hai ki Rat ke saath UN Bigger rats ko bhi le jayen...Ganges tak"

*Personal Snake(of the rat eating family)

**Pied Piper

1 comment:

alice said...

That mouse (or is it rat, the difference between them, beats me!!) in the pic, in fact looks like Jerry. Why not get Tom on to the stage. You know, you could provide original inputs to a new T & J Show..and may be later you could take over the entire business of animation ( its more lucrative, dont you think!!) and replace Auditing with Animating whereever required to signify the change in the function...what do you say!!!